The Confession Chronicles, II
Confession: So here’s the situation. Two of the biggest gatherings of professionals in the writing world are happening very near to me this year. World Fantasy Con in San Diego, CA and World Science Fiction Convention aka WorldCon in Reno, NV. Both are within driving distance from me (6 and 13 hours respectively). And considering that last year WorldCon was in Melbourne, Australia, I decided that this would be a great opportunity for me to go cheaply. :)
I bought tickets to both last October. And in October, things seemed so very far away and of course I was going to get oh-so-much work done by then. I would in all likelihood, have a finished and polish manuscript of “My Haunted Life,” as well as another work-in-progress. I would have a plan as far as how to pitch my novel AND who to pitch them to AND how to find them at the cons.
Well, it’s nearly July and the cons are in August and October. Not nearly so far away now. As you may well have guessed, I am still not finished with my novel. Much closer, but not finished and certainly not polished. My next project is a mirage that floats across from the finish line of my current project.
And at this point, I began to panic. What was I thinking, going to BOTH of these conferences when I am completely unprepared? I haven’t had time to research the agents and editors that will be there that I should try to find. My manuscript will be sloppy at best. And of course, did I mention that I don’t mingle well? I get totally nervous and become a wallflower. A cute wallflower, but still. I’m scared out of my mind that I’m going to look like a total dork.
And freaking NeilHimself is going to be at World Fantasy Con. Neil Gaiman! One of my heroes! Not to mention The Writing Excuses Team, and Might Mur Lafferty at WorldCon and half of the writers that are sitting on my bookshelf looking down at me as I sheepishly try to write this.
Oh, and I still haven’t lost 10 pounds or found a way to grow back the eyebrows I lost to an over-plucking mishap in 10th grade. So at this point, I am freaking out and wondering if I was jumping the gun, going to these conferences when I am obviously not a professional and will not get anything out of them except misery and torture.
Reflection: Even if I am not as prepared as I would like, a) there is still time and b) plenty of people go to these conferences to HAVE FUN. I could do that. I know how to have fun.
WorldCon is about 7 weeks away. That is enough time to finish the first draft of my novel and figure out a way to pitch it. I can still pitch it, even with it being a mess, since the likelihood that anyone will ask to see my manuscript then and there is almost zero. I’ve done enough research to know that much.
MightyMur said I could look her up at WorldCon and she’d help me not look like a dork at my first con. So that is always a plus. Note to self: do not become a barnacle to Mur. That would be rude. WorldCon might just be a ton of fun and encourage me before World Fantasy in October.
And, if it is a total disaster, I can probably find someone at WorldCon to buy my ticket to World Fantasy (since it is sold out) and I can spend the money I would have spent driving to and eating at World Fantasy on some therapy. (Note: that was a joke. I would much rather spend it on books and shoes.) Plus, I’ll at least know how a con feels for the future when I will possibly a) feel more like an adult (unlikely) and b) be more prepared as a writer (very possible).
Conviction: I will have a positive attitude until WorldCon is over. At that point, I can decide whether or not to attend World Fantasy Con in October.
Oh, and I will finish the blasted novel if it kills me!
The Knitting Writer 
Blog posting sista buddies!
A good reflection. It’s okay to be freaking out, but as long as you keep it in perspective, you can handle it.
And a tip: no one ever feels like an adult. All the older women in my book club tell me they still feel 16. Except for the grandmothers. They feel about 30. So there you go.